Gathering for a MAP by David Hasbury
In the beginning, there is a blank page.
MAPS is a chance to create a moment
when people can sit together, (in a way that they usually don't),
to remember, think, imagine and chart a course together. We can
capture words, images and colours that can remind us of this moment.
In the center we find a person's life and story, hopes and dreams.
There is something deeply profound in doing this. It is not unlike
artists sitting with a landscape, a model, a thought, or feeling,
and allowing an image, sculpture, poem to emerge that can capture
the moment. In MAPS we are all co-creating. But when we begin
the page before us is blank, and the co-creative moment we share
is a moment of discovery.
As facilitator I work to make the co-creation easy, to keep us
focused on the person who has gathered us, to allow the richness
to emerge, to ensure that the picture we leave behind represents
the moment we shared together.
Journey to a foreign landscape.
While there is something wonderful
about this co-creation, there is also something very foreign about
it. Drawing attention to ourselves is foreign. Creating together
is foreign. Sharing our story in a group is foreign. Uncovering
the hopes held in our dreams, and the vulnerability captured in
our nightmares is foreign. That is why I sense a kinship between
MAPS and art. Artists, painters, poets, sculptors, musicians and
dancers, often enter into this kind of exposure. And they are
courageous in so doing.
So to begin doing MAPS I feel a need to recognize that I am inviting
people into foreign territory. As facilitator I am beginning to
make it easy for people to enter this new and unfamiliar space.
There is so much anxiety about entering this space, particularly
for the individual at the center who is inspiring us to come together,
and those who love them. It is a very vulnerable place and time.
I must remember this.
Tuning our ears to hear
It is important for me to try to
meet with the person who will be at the center before we sit with
the circle. It doesn't have to be a long meeting, just long enough
to establish some trust that I know how vulnerable they are in
doing this and that I will keep this knowledge with me, front
and center, through the whole process. It is a chance for me to
learn a little about how they communicate, and who knows the way
that they "speak" best, who could best support their
voice in being heard.
The night before Jasmine's MAP, I went to her house to meet her,
Tamara and Jim (her parents), and her sister. Tamara knew that
Jasmine talking to a stranger could pose a problem. When Jasmine
is comfortable, she loves to talk, but if she is not sure about
you, she can be very shy and not speak at all. Meeting Jasmine
in her home was important It gave me time to think and reflect
on what I could do to make Jasmine more comfortable, not only
with me but all of the other people who would be present with
us. I learned about her relationships with her Mom and Dad, and
so when we gathered for the MAP I was able to make room for her
Dad and Mom to direct the questions when she seemed to be shy.
Her Dad made room for her to share about something important to
her, and soon she was singing.
Collecting the artists
In a pre-MAPS visit I get the chance
to explore the matter of who are the best people to be present.
I can review the "circles" exercise which surfaces a
whole range of possible people that could be invited. And then
we can pause and think about who would be the "right"
people to be present. Which of these people could bring safety,
or new perspectives, or contacts? Which of these people leave
the focus person with a sense of being cared for, a feeling of
being respected, liked, even admired?
The invitation of people to a MAPS session needs to be well thought
out. Sometimes the obvious choices are not the right ones. The
teaching assistant might be too controlling, a sister or brother
may be in a difficult time within the relationship, and for adults
a parent might not be able to see this person as an adult who
needs to expand, grow and move on. The pre-MAPS visit allows me
the opportunity to raise the consciousness about who we are inviting
and why, always remembering that the MAPS session is simply a
moment in time, and that at another time we might invite other
people. Ultimately, the choice of who is invited and why rests
with the focus person. But in asking the questions I am learning
about who this person is, and what is important to them.
Focusing our intention to gather
This pre-session visit also allows
me the opportunity to explore ways to invite people with the person
at the center or those closest to them. What are we really asking
people to do when we invite them to our MAPS session? The clearer
that we can be about our invitation, the more likely we will get
"yes" as a response. I have learned that this is one
of the greatest obstacles to MAPS, the fear that we will be rejected.
We can explore the ways that we can ask or invite that will most
likely receive "yes" as a response. In MAPS we are sharing
stories, imagining the future, reflecting about who the focus
person is, and planning some steps that could their life forward.
When we are doing MAPS, we are not expecting big commitments (even
though we might hope for big ones), but we are exploring the opportunities
for small commitments, things that we all could do that could
help. If we can line people up to be working in the same direction,
doing whatever they can, however small, we will find ourselves
moving forward. Each move forward in the same direction can create
momentum, and lead us to places we never imagined.
If we are successful in MAPS, we will have clarified "why"
it is so important to act, and "what direction" should
we line ourselves up. MAPS is an opportunity to think about what
is important. The people invited are called because the person
at the center respects them, and in turn feels respected. The
person at the center feels that the invited guest has something
to offer, even if it is only a perspective.
Preparing our minds for stories
In a pre-MAPS meeting I am looking
to gain a brief sense of what is happening now that would cause
us to think that a MAP is a good thing to do. I want to know a
little bit of the story. I want to prime the pump by getting the
focus person and those closest to them to think a little bit about
stories that will help us all to get a better sense of where they
have been, who they are, and provide clues about their future.
Our time will be limited in a MAPS session, so in the pre-meeting
I want to help frame the storytelling section in a way that can
help the focus person to concentrate on what is important. I want
the person to think about a few (3 or 4) moments, scenes, or periods
in their life that were important to them and could give us all
a clue about who they are. And then I want them to think about
images or symbols that might reflect or remind us all about that
story. This is homework. I don't need to talk about these stories
in the pre-meeting. The question can percolate until we meet as
a group.
Creating a space that can honour the
sacred
And finally I want to focus on what
could make the moment comfortable enough for the person at the
center to be vulnerable. What could make the environment safe?
Music, pictures, refreshments, important objects, light might
help to remind us all of who is at the center and help us to stay
focused. Since life is at the center of a MAPS gathering, there
is certain reverence that I feel, and I want all of us to know
that there is something sacred in sharing life in this way.
In meeting before a MAPS session, I want to know who I will be
creating with. The people present are both the co-creators and
the material. Each one holds pieces of life and experience that
will be shared, not unlike the colours on a painting. We will
all be the art and the artist. Knowing who has called this gathering
together by their life experience, is absolutely essential to
me as a facilitator. I don't need all of the detail, just a brief
sense of the essence so that we will remain faithful to who this
person is as we begin to gaze into the future. At the end of a
pre-meeting I need a sense of who and what we will be working
with. Yet still we will have a blank page to begin MAPS.
And still we have a blank page.